I naively agreed to a dinner gathering with a bunch of friends,
only to find out at the last minute that you were bringing her along. Knowing you,
I should have known earlier. But there was no way I could back out at that time
without looking or sounding like I was avoiding meeting her.
So I gritted my teeth and went along with it. I decided I
was going to be gracious. For my own sake.
I was introduced to her and we exchanged hi’s. That was
about it for the rest of the night.
Admittedly, I refrained myself from looking at the two of
you. Especially when you guys are displaying acts of affection with each other.
I avoided circumstances where I would have had to make conversations with her.
At the end of the day, I thought I did well. I thought I
held and presented myself extremely well, without having to be pretentious or faking
friendliness. I laughed and joked with my friends. I didn’t show any negative
type of emotions or behaviours.
But,
I was just wondering what you were thinking bringing her along.
I know I have a heart bigger than the universe.
I know we are on talking terms.
But to meet her and to acknowledge your new relationship are
fairly tough tasks for even the biggest heart on earth.
Nonetheless, it is a step forward for me.
I just need to learn to keep my emotions in check and seek
for that inner peace.
Because one day, I should be happy for you too.
